A friend of mine from grad school recently passed away. Although we weren’t close, I will always remember him fondly. We met during those most chaotic, yet transformative years of my life. And from both near and afar, he taught me lessons that will continue to impact my health and my happiness until the day I pass into the next life. Today, I feel compelled to share with you the top three things I learned from my friend Kirk Akahoshi.
When The Opportunity Arises, Dance.
Hip hop was his format of choice, so every few months I’d get a text inviting me to try a new hip hop night Kirk found somewhere in the Bay Area. To be honest, I spent a lot of time alone, feeling homesick and stewing in dark thoughts. So when the opportunity arose to dance, it was a welcome relief. Who knew that years later, I’d become a dance fitness instructor?
I Deserve to Be Happy
At the risk of sounding crude… I’ve dated a lot of dirtbags in my life. Although we rarely saw each other after grad school, Kirk had this amazing intuitive sense that I wasn’t happy. I remember the time when I brought an ex (my boyfriend at the time) to his birthday party in the city.
“Listen to me,” He said. “You deserve someone who loves you and appreciates you for the amazing person you are. You DESERVE to be happy.” At the time, I hadn’t even realized how unhappy I was or how damaging the relationship was to my self esteem. But only a few months later, I realized how right he was.
PS – As you can probably guess, I ended that relationship and resolved to be more picky when choosing a life partner. Can’t say I got it perfect on the first try, but my relationships did get better. And now I’m with a man who loves and adores me, as I do him.
Recognize the Impact You Make
Kirk is a huge inspiration to me as an entrepreneur and coach. I was proud to see him creating a difference in the lives of men he worked with and I looked at him as an example of success, someone to aspire to.
One of the last things I heard him say was that he mistakenly thought he wasn’t doing enough in his business and his life. So he spent years stressing out over it, feeling the need to get better and to do more. But in reality, he…
- Was creating change in the world at a level that those of us who feel called to the helping field can only imagine.
- Was married to a loving, supportive, and talented wife.
- Had a wealth of strong, meaningful friendships.
That day, he realized that he had actually been WINNING in work and in life. Knowing his prognosis was bad…He warned us. Don’t make the same mistake.
Rest In Peace, My Friend
In my field (Transpersonal Psychology), it is said that in your life, you meet certain people for a reason. I feel grateful to have crossed paths with Kirk Akahoshi in this lifetime. Whether he knew it or not, he made in a difference in my life. I hope that his transition to the next incarnation is as smooth as possible and that I am lucky enough to bump into him again.
Love & Light <3
Nadia